What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

HELLO

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

How do you feel about Donald Trump signing an executive order that says there are only two genders?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

What do you do when you are struggling to fall asleep?

{RING} {RING}

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

After a few moments he returns.

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Sure no problem officer.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

How can targeted individuals protect themselves from organized stalking? Have you discovered practical strategies?

Yes sir it is.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Do people have to be a pastor to baptize?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?